I have noticed that from around 3 in the afternoon, there is a certain calm, a peace that comes upon me. Whatever has been wearing me down, just seems to alight! Gosh i love that time of day! Maybe coz its closer to sunset, and i love the gentle breeze that really just seems to whisper my name. I get quite tickled by it...
Which just makes me think and believe that everything is going to be OK. I could be hurting and trying to find a way to soothe the dull ache, then it happens, a burst of joy, a whisper of love. I'm just so blessed to be able to experience joy in the midst of a storm. But this only comes when you fully put your trust and reliance in God. He is the only sane thought that passes through my head every now and again.
And man, I feel good when i can just sit here and post something onto my blog. It's such a release! Man i tell you, had it not been for God who holds me ALL the time, i shudder to think what would have become of me. This is my space where i can express my love and gratitude to Him. Man i love my God! There is freedom and joy, and so much love whenever I'm in His presence.
Even as i write this, I'm already feeling it coming on...It's like i can feel Him so close to me, smiling and assuring me that all is well.
Its amazing how He can be God, and friend at the same time; so Magnificent, yet so humble! WOW can you imagine such contrasts! (pause, sigh, and breath).
If i tell you right now that i just feel like laughing, dancing, and crying all at he same time, you'd think i'm crazy, but i'm not. His love captivates me so much. I'm enthralled.
Which brings me to a million dollar question, is there a man who can express this kind of love to me. I can't rely on him, i know, to bring me total joy, but will he encourage this joyfulness, will he pray to God to increase His joy in me, because he loves to see me so happy? Hmmm...i pray so.
Coz i realize now that true joy comes only from God, not a man. I suppose i get why Paul the apostle lived as a single guy. He got to a point where all he wanted was God and was so desperate and hungry for Him that it consumed his time and passions! Wow! I want to be consumed by Him! Engulfed.
That saying that says, i could just eat you up, i want Him to just wanna eat me up, and do!
Lalalalalala! I probably should stop here lest they come for me thinking I'm nuts!
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
When I first saw you, your beauty took My breath away.I looked at you and secretly hoped that you would notice me. I spent every waking moment think about you. I sent you gifts, but they always came back marked, 'Return to sender'. Then i decided to send you the best of me, all that was precious to me, and you rejected that precious gift. It hurt me to the core, I will not lie. You shred my heart to pieces. But i would not give up on you. I loved you so much (still do!) I would come around every day to watch you, just to be near you. You continued to push me further away. Better to see you from afar than not at all. That's how much i loved you. You are my life!
Then came the day when everything changed. You cannot imagine the joy that i felt when you finally said you would be mine. It broke my heart though to see the state that you were in; broken, battered, and left for dead.How could they do that to you! I took you in and nursed you myself. I always took delight in watching you sleep. Oh, such beauty!
It was the hardest road that brought you here, but finally you're all mine. You are the apple of my eye, my air, and my song. I love you with all that I have (literally). Never forget o apple of my eye.
All my Love
So what! I'm loud. I love being around people.I just love people. But that doesn't mean that i'm not to be taken seriously! That does not make me dull. What you have to realise is that life is too short to live in misery!
I love myself because i'm loud
I love me because i'm crazy
I love myself because i'm beautiful in every way
I love me coz i'm me!
My beauty doesn't make me a reckless unfeeling woman, it's just the way i'm created. Just coz i'm beautiful doesn't mean that you can have your way with me. There's more to me than just my face and my body. I'm every woman, beautiful on the inside and on the outside!
Look at me! Tell me what you see. Look at me!
I've looked at me. Beautiful. Perfect nose, fleshy lips, good teeth, eyes that will draw you in, baby soft skin.
Look at me again. Tell me what you see. Look!
I'm looking at me. Sensitive, full of love, kind, cheerful, and bubbly.
Never take who i am for granted, because I'm the only one like me. Unique, fearfully and wonderfully made. I do not flaunt my beauty carelessly. I'm more than my face! Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.
I guard my heart with diligence, for out of it flow the issues of life. A good and praiseworthy woman, who can find. I am a woman of substance. My beauty is defined by my character, not just my looks. I love me more now because i realize i have more to give than my looks. I have depth. Deep calleth unto to deep at the noise of thy watersprouts...
Hmmm...i think to myself, can i make it? Can i accomplish it, yet I'm strong, even when I'm weak. I'm more than a conqueror! I'm a hero in my own right. I'm my own hero. I will not wait for a prince charming to rescue me. I've already been rescued! I'm a princess. A pearl of great value.
I'm smiling to myself now. Graceful, favored, and loved.
This is me!